The Chopping Blog

I don't wish I had met her because of the money.....just because it takes a special person to produce a story like this.  Enjoy......I sure did.

When did it begin?

I want answers…..now!!  I read news….I listen to reports….I see pictures…...the same question comes to me; when did it begin?  Maybe it’s the story I read yesterday about more US steel being used for bottle caps than for automobile bodies.  Perhaps the alcohol or marijuana debate comes up and both sides argue diligently about which is more harmful to your health.  I want to trace these stories back to the point when the idea/product/service/mindset changed to where it stands now.

Let’s start with television news.  At what point in the history of TV news did they choose to show a computer graphic of how Hawaii could be completely wiped out by a tidal wave instead of video showing a family holding their adopted Haitian baby for the first time?  What prompted them to think that if it “bleeds” it leads?  You’d probably answer with, “ratings.”  Ok, when did ratings start to reflect that those “bloody” stories were more popular than the “feel good” story?  I know there is not one particular instance in which we can trace this all back to but what about a trend? 

I blogged about the killer whale incident at Sea World….let’s go back to when the idea was hatched to put whales in pools and make them do tricks.  I don’t want to go back to origin of these topics so that I have an answer.  I want to go back because I think it makes a great story.  It would be so interesting to see if it was an event, a person, a dollar figure, a sight, a sound, or a taste that began a craze, idea, product, etc.  Those stories would be fascinating.  Pinning our blue jeans in the 80’s, EVERY union member deserving a raise every 3 years of their contracts, or the complete wusification of America as a whole;  I want to know….when did it begin?

****Beware extreme sarcasm ahead….may be offensive….but I don’t care****

Let me first figure out whether I have the facts straight on the latest “horror” at Sea World.  

1)      This was a Killer Whale…..yes…I said Killer Whale: Killer whales are regarded as an apex predator as they have no natural predators.  Males typically range from 20–26 ft long and weigh in excess of 12,000lbs.  Killer Whales feed on fish, particularly salmon, and hunt marine mammals such as sea , seals, walruses and even large whales. 

2)      Exhibit A….a photo with a comparison of a human vs. a Killer Whale.

1)      This was a whale had a history of instances with his handlers which is just one of the reasons no trainer was to be in the water with him. 

2)      The only protection between the handlers and the whales are…….whistles? 

3)      These animals are asked to perform upwards of twice every day 7 days a week being compensated with fish the size of 1 of their teeth. 

Ok….so we have large wild creatures born in water, 6,000 times bigger than a human, jumping, splashing, and pushing humans around on the snout of their nose.  We blow whistles to get them to respond or revert to using the “Force” by waving a hand in hopes they roll over and show a fin; behavior very common for these animals.  Then one of these large carnivores, used to eating prey right around the size of…….us, kills one of the handlers.  Our reaction……shock and awe…..why?  How is it that nobody seems to think that this business of caging, catching, and showing off wild animals is dangerous to the people doing it as well as those watching it?  

Let me play devil’s advocate for a moment.  1) So it rarely happens…I’ll give you that, but….it still happens and we’re surprised when it does.  2) How about the angle that these animals would have died if it weren’t for these organizations/parks/zoos stepping in and saving these animals from perishing.  Um….wild animals die every day….at the paws/beaks/teeth of predators and via disease, injuries, and starvation.  So now we’re supposed to save all these animals?  3) Ok…how about this one…..Killer Whales have been known to be very social animals and they’re treated with the best care and in top notch facilities.  You would be right….except that swimming pools are just a tad bit smaller than…..the ocean!!  Oh…and these “social” animals also love socializing over dead prey they’ve just killed. 

I don’t care what excuse is given to me……THEY’RE WILD ANIMALS.  They would love nothing more than to eat a fat, lazy, slow human being.  They don’t have to run very fast to catch us, we have little defense against them (without our guns of course), and most of us have nice marbled meat that would satisfy any hunger.  These trainers may be great people, with plenty of training and smarts but to think for just a moment that they can manipulate these animals into doing what they want…..every time they ask…is crazy.  It takes just one instance of disobedience to take someone’s life…that’s risky business and they, along with their families should know those risks.  These trainers are just blinded by the fact they’re closer than any of us can ever get to such beautiful creatures.  We all wish we could cuddle up with a black bear cub or wrestle with a week old tiger cub and some day….we will probably sell them for the right price.  We’ve altered breeds of dogs/cats to our liking, we’re hunted every living creature on earth, we’ve caged them and reaped mind blowing rewards from their beauty.  Yet the moment one turns on us or decides they don’t want to be told what to do….we broadcast it, cry over it, and look in awe when a human life is taken by one. Then we usually kill the animal because, “It’s a danger to the staff and visitors of this facility and for everyone’s safety the animal will be euthanized.”  Was everyone’s safety being taken into consideration when we took that animal out of the wild and into a fancy park?  Do me a favor wild animals that get put into parks/zoos/cages/backyards……just eat them all! 

I love my life and I love the freedoms and choices I have in this country.  Let me just lay that down now before I begin my rant.  With that said, I do think we need a lot of things in this country to blow up so that we can start from scratch.

Take the car industry for example.  We’ve witnessed them going through some real tough times recently.  Yes they supply jobs; yes they are a big impact on our economy, but does the U.S. need 87 different models of vehicles?  Of course not.  The idiots at the car manufacturers would lead you to believe that each model caters to specific lifestyles.  You mean the super short guy that wants a big full size pick-up?  I’m 6’2” and most full size trucks have very little leg room for a person my size….and I’m not that tall.  The Hummer for example….serves as an extension of a man’s penis.  The Corvette could also fall under that category.  It could also fall into the loner, the speed freak, or the guy that truly believes he’ll get laid by driving one.

How about the banks?  Wait, maybe we shouldn’t go there….it just makes people angry.  How about my industry…radio?  It’s owned by mega corporations that own hundreds of stations and feel a “recipe” is all you need for good radio.  Farmers…..these people have been pushed to the side while we buy asparagus from Mexico that has little, no, or inaccurate testing for pesticides and god knows what else is in their soil.  Why?  The almighty dollar, that’s why.  Life won’t be like it was “back when,” but weren’t there some real good things from then?  Corner stores owned by locals.  Less than a 400% mark-up on jewelry.  Great movies that didn’t take $300 million dollars to make which takes $200 million dollars to promote?  What about vehicles that you could afford after a year of work or apples that didn’t cost as much as $5/lb?  Price does have a lot to do with it but it also comes down to decisions made locally, catering to local clientele, and sustaining our lifestyles using products made/sold by our friends, neighbors, and fellow countrymen/countrywomen.

It all needs to blow up.  It needs to implode and start over.  We refuse to let this country go through tough times.  We refuse to let people go unemployed for years.  We refuse to let a large corporation bust.  We have to…it’s part of the economic cycle.  Instead we fix it with money and hope it works.  We’re using untested methods to keep this world spinning.  Why not let it spin on its own and see what happens.  From prices, corporations, billion dollar sports arenas to attitudes, reasoning, greed, and egos.  It could all be solved if we just let things fail.  We’ve basically agreed that the way we do things is the best way.  The number of car manufacturers is just right.  The steel we produce in the states is just too expensive….get it from China…it’s cheaper.  We feel all of these scenarios are spot on.  Their not….it’s not working and we will more than likely see our stimulus effects down the road and they may not be pretty.  Will we let it happen or try to stop it?  I say let it burn….forest fires are terrible but they happen and the end result many times is exactly why it happened in the first place…..it needed to.  The trees grow again, the forest comes alive, and it’s a fresh start for all of the living things dependent on that forest.  Our world is that forest and it’s filled with crap……let’s hope it blows up.

This job has allowed me to meet some really cool people.  Plenty of weirdoes too...and some creeps, and a few a-holes but today I want to focus on one of the cool.  This dude popped into our studio quite a few years ago and snapped some shots used in one of our local newspapers.  Since then I've bumped into him all over town.  It wasn't until the recent Twins Caravan that I had a chance to “shoot” (intended) the breeze with Clint for an extended time.  The conversation concluded with a piece of paper and a website.  Below is the site I want you to check out.  This is a talented man and I find that some of the best images of our beloved "Northland" are captured by the not-so-often cited photographers.  Plus they're absolutely flabbergasted at the idea that you'd like to buy one (if you in fact did) and the price is almost always right!  Take a look and click on the "Archives" to see more amazing shots.  I love nature and when I get some time to look through photos like Clint's, it's truly euphoric....I want to live in them! 

http://blog.clintphotos.com/?m=201001

Top Things Overheard at the Grammys

1) Wait a sec . . . Michael Jackson's DEAD?!! 

2) "Poker face"???  More like, "Put a Bag Over Her Face".  

3) I'm dying for some popcorn or peanuts, but I don't want to bother Tito during his brother's tribute. 

4) Hey look, it's one of those monsters from "Where the Wild Things Are"!  Oh, wait, forget it.  It's just Courtney Love.

5) I heard Pink and Lady Gaga got in a fight while waiting in line for the men's room. 

6) Okay, one last time:  the one on the left's Alice Cooper, and the one on the right's Katy Perry? 

7) Great.  All the seats in the house and I get the one right behind Amy Winehouse. 

8) That 3-D image of Michael Jackson just reached out for MacCauley Culkin's crotch! 

9) Don't look so excited, Willie Nelson . . . I said BLUE grass.

Top John Edwards voicemails

1) Newt Gingrich here.  Want to join my Disgraced Politicians Who Cheated on Their Cancer-Stricken Wives group?  

2) Hey John, it's the white, formerly hip, middle-aged masses.......don't sweat it; you're still our guy.  

3) It's the clinic.  Your monthly prescription is in.  

4) Hey man, it's Barack.  If it's any consolation, the White House ain't all it's cracked up to be.  

5) Hi friend, it's Maury Povich.  Next time come on my show and I'll get everything cleared up. - Johnny

Here's a cool video showing all aspects of the new Target Field....home of your Minnesota Twins!!  Very cool to see how this place was designed to make it the best place for US to watch a game.  It will be so fan friendly.....uhhh...I can't wait!

http://www.ballparkauthority.com/index.asp?Type=B_BASIC&SEC=%7B5657CF7A-4E6C-4E0B-A321-77419423F559%7D

I shouldn't have to explain anything....but just in case you're one of the morons that would actually NEED this......this rant is for you.

There was a product that came out not long ago that would decipher your dog's bark and let you know what they wanted.  Now they've done it for babies.  Only this one is an application for you iPhone. 

The Cry Translator is supposed to help you decode your baby's cries.  The application claims to be accurate 96% of the time.  This is just one more reason this world is coming close to.....something.  If you need a cell phone application to decode your baby's cry.....you shouldn't have had the kid.  How did you do that exactly?  Were you actually paying attention in Health Class or was it an accident?  I'm sure there are going to be people who might get the application to play around and see if in fact it can tell you what your baby wants.  Yet there are also people who will get it to truly use the application.  These are the people I'm singling out.  You're idiots.  You are one of the many reasons there should be a permit in order to have a child.  You wouldn't get one.....you would be destined to live out your life childless and your name (if you're a male) would die with you.  A cell phone application to help you be a parent; It’s the end of the world as we know it!

My wife and I actually hurt after watching our beloved Vikings lose on Sunday.  I mean our stomachs hurt.  Knots, tight, sick......they all described our feelings.  So why?  I have found the answer and it's no bull.

http://wcco.com/goodquestion/physically.ill.lose.2.1448516.html

These things are crazy!  39" wide, electric powered, 2 seats (one in front of the other), and comes in kit form only.  Rumors say George Clooney paid over $100,000 for one.  Their website says you can hold one with a $10,000 deposit.  Now you can really feel like a sardine.

http://www.commutercars.com/